Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Up is really down ... unless it's not

Obama's address to Congress was pretty good, according to Andrew Bolt. "Except for the bits that weren't:"

"The findings? No, Obama’s new housing plan won’t stop money going to dumb speculators. No, America didn’t invent the car. No, the US isn’t importing 'more oil today than ever before'. No, his '$2 trillion in savings over the next decade' aren’t real. No, his new budget doesn’t 'end education programs that don’t work and end direct payments to large agribusinesses that don’t need them'. No, his budget does not 'finally end… the tax breaks for corporations that ship our jobs overseas' No, his recovery plan will not “double this nation’s supply of renewable energy in the next three years'. No, we cannot be sure his plan 'will save or create 3.5 million jobs'."

Astonishingly, Bolt read this from a report by the (Dis)Associated Press.

2 comments:

KT said...

Doctors' Opinions:

The Allergists voted to scratch it, and the
Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The orthopedists wanted to cast it
in a different light.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the
Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve, and the
Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
The Pathologists yelled, 'Over my dead body!' while the
Pediatricians said, 'Oh, grow up!'

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the
Radiologists could see right through it, and the
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the
Plastic Surgeons said, 'This puts a whole new face on the matter.'

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the
Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the
Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some assholes in
Washington.

Eowyn said...

Hahahahahahaha!! That is AWESOME. ;)