Taking lame to new levels

So the White House has issued its official report on the disastrous flyover by Air Force One over Manhattan. My analysis will take place in the tried-and-true "question and answer" format. But first:

Not addressed -- anywhere -- WHY DID YOU DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Real answer: To hand out a bunch of superfunkycool souvenirs to assorted toadies, relatives, campaign donors, etc. Keep that in mind as we go on.

Question: Did President Obama know?

Answer: Yes. No. Maybe. (See page 5, Reaction to the Flight.)

Question: Why didn't anyone think beforehand that a flight of this nature might cause panic, given the location and history?

Answer: The White House Military Office Director John Caldera stated he had "no idea" the plan called for descending as low as 1,000 feet. (See page 6, Reaction to the Flight.)

Ouch. Isn't EVERY DETAIL supposed to be accounted for in a mission of this nature?

Question: Why didn't military personnel bring more awareness to their civilian higher-ups of the nature of such low-altitude buzzing?

Answer: My guess is this; every air base deals with people in surrounding communities calling in every time jets break their windows. These calls are handled by honey-toned Public Affairs specialists who reassure the irate Mr. Caller that he/she is very sorry, and it won't happen again. (Of course, it always does.) The pilots themselves -- and most Air Force higher-ups are former pilots -- are insulated from the outrage. They don't even think about it. So, no one in any of the flight commands advising the White House brought it up.

If you've ever been outside an airport, or air base, when jets take off or land, you know that the noise and vibration feel like an earthquake until they reach an altitude of at least 5,000 feet. It's actually CIVILIANS who should have thought of this.

Question: Why didn't the Director stay on top of things better?

Answer: Among other things, a "bad back" and dual e-mail accounts. (See page 4, The April 27 Flight.) Take note of the hilarious line that the Director "was not asked to approve the flight." Wha ... ?

Question: Is the White House Military Office a bunch of boobs?

Answer: You betcha.

Question: If this is how the White House runs a quasi-military operation designed for the sole purpose of rewarding hangers-on with a trinket, how confident should we feel about our military overall?

Answer: This can only be answered with an acronym, such as "FUBAR." In this case, it's KYAG.

(For additional laffs, read how the left hand sorta-kinda kept the right hand "up to speed," and vice versa.)