Wednesday, September 9, 2009

For David

... who may never read this; he's not one for the printed word, much. Though he may not "read" the words, he'll "read" my heart. Most assuredly. Already has.

Normally, I'm one for posting snippets from others -- a paragraph from a news story here, a video there. This one time, I'm departing from personal tradition, fully expecting a high boredom threshold from readers.

So be it ... I'm willing to run the risk. Because for the first time, and the last, there is love. And my heart is so full, I have to put it in printed words, though they may never be read. (Or "read.")

**************

For one thing, we look alike. That is, we are built much the same: Slim, clean-limbed, graceful, like cats. Our faces look alike, far beyond the superficial brown eyes and oval structure. We share the same easy smile.

For another, there is an undeniable magnetic pull, the strength of which takes my breath away.

For a third, we communicate on a very basic frequency. This I will expand on -- but for now, it's important that it IS basic. You'll see why, I hope.

All of this is a superficial skimming of Why We Are. But it's hugely important, not only for us, but for everyone looking for The One.

Onward:

*************

I am a Smart Person. I was raised carefully, by intelligent parents, to appreciate and cultivate all that is best in human achievement. My lineage is high -- Old Money, and Society, with all its refinements, were bred into me like breakfast oatmeal. Though I did not inhabit the rarefied strata of high society, because my Dad chose the obscurity of military service, I was inculcated with its bedrock precepts of Entitlement and Education into all that was, is, and will be, in the Human Condition. I was encouraged to exercise my mind, flex my creative muscles, dare to dream, to be sure that my reach may exceed my grasp. I was given every bit of ammunition human achievement had to offer, quite consciously, from far-seeing parents. I was raised to be A Lady.

The only problem with perfect upbringing is ... the person.

No ambition.

Beyond being loved.

Alas, I'll never put paid to the investment in me. I'll never light the world on fire. I'm sorry.


******************

He loves me.

It's very simple. And, in simplicity, we solve the riddles that keep us up at night -- we find rest. We find our Home.

******************

Me and him, we understand each other. Body ... O yes.

Mind. What's to understand?

Soul. An uninterrupted circuit.

*****************

The stupid stuff of life -- "How dare you do this, that or the other" -- is, well, stupid. Anger? Only a blip on the radar.

There is only love.

We. Love. Each. Other.

****************

So, there you have it. An unwanted diatribe about me and my so-called life.

But, well ...

I've finally solved the secrets of the universe.

And David did it.

****************





I love you.

5 comments:

angelzwild said...

Mary,

I know that you have left your old patterns of blogging behind you, I thank God that you did. I enjoy your new posts more than you realize. I don't see the negativity that "karmasurfer" brought on you, I understand a man that isn't into computers and I find it refreshing, no "little green man" spewing spit at women. Ahh, freedom at last.

Continue on your new path, it is so refreshing and I'm sure that your readers will love it. I know that I do.

As much as I enjoy Neo's blog, how he speaks of what he's going through, not throwing around political gibberish, you don't have the anger that you used to have in posts of late, when stuck in the "prison" that you lived in, I can only thank God that I never put myself in that situation.

But alas, you understand me and I understand you. And that simple minded "poison" that was in our lives no longer matters to either of us, in fact, it's actually so pathetic that it's laughable, that this poison spiritual vampier believes as he does.

Ahh, to be over him, to have him out of our lives, we need to rejoice.

At the Jersey Shore. LMAO!!!!!

You go, girl, and keep posting as you have been since you left, it's so refreshing to read, I look forward to your posts, I know I won't see the negativity that spilled over onto you from "karmasurfer." What a louzy nic for a fucking loser.

Take care kid. The X-Club rockz.

Katey

Greg said...

I was a bit moved by this post. As all I ever wanted was to be in love, and have missed to this point in time.

Eowyn said...

Thanks, KT :) It's true -- I've lost so much anger, I guess it shows. Some readers will miss the old sharp tone, I think, but all in all, I can't be bothered :)

As for the Jersey Shore, I am so jonesing for the beach it isn't funny -- but Dave promises me it won't be long (hopefully) before we relocate near some shore!

Greg, I think the secret is to always put the other person first. This only works if BOTH do it -- of course, if only one does, unhappiness is inevitable.

But when both do ... it's magic.

The other thing is never to let the sun go down on your anger, as the saying goes. When you love someone, you ask yourself, Do I really want to stay angry? If they love you, they'll listen to your concerns and answer them as best they can. Compromise is key.

I also liked what you said on your own blog about loving yourself first and foremost. No love will work without that -- and it involves forgiving oneself for real, not just papering over past faults out of guilt, or whatever.

Good stuff -- very healthy :)

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